Please Help: Problems dating African-American guys?
I am a 22 African-American college woman. I know a sorry man comes in all races, colors, types, etc…however, culturally speaking I am greatly displeased by how some of these African-American guys in this generation are (I stress "African-American" because I am only referring to Black guys born and raised America). They treat Black women so horribly! And my experiences dating them, dealing with them were HELL. I have been rejected by them for being "too white" or "too weird", for instance.
Unlike some people may think, I KNOW there are good AA men in America–my father, brother, uncles and cousins are examples of good AA men. But as far as dating, I have been treated differently by African guys, Caribbean guys and other Black men from outside the US. I get so angry with AA men.
Too be honest it hurts me everyday that I feel this way about AA guys because I am 100% proud of my heritage and I don’t want to develop some sort of prejudice! That is not me! I just so confused.
To the first poster, I go to Michigan State University. I’m and English/Art major. Bad school to go to when you’re an artist. I should be in NYU or something. More art and culture! LOL. =)
To the second poster…I wasn’t talking about island guys. I was only talking about African-American guys in the U.S. LOL! Sorry for the confusion.
You are not alone in this. There was a time when African Americans, esp. AA men, were very motivated and driven to get a good education, find a good soul mate and build a great family. But unfortunately, these days, that is not mostly the case. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t any great AA men out there. There are many of them, but it is just bothersome that there are some who don’t even CARE anymore.
Have you ever considered that maybe the ONE that you are supposed to be with is not even AA. I know that you are very proud, as you should be, of your heritage, and that you’d like to find men who share the same proud heritage and background. But sometimes we just have to get out there and find that someone who is right for us, REGARDLESS OF THEIR COLOR OR CREED. I guess what I am trying to say is that find the love of your life and then their background and race will no longer be an issue if the two of you TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER.
9 Responses to “Please Help: Problems dating African-American guys?”
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What College do you go to?
It could be that you are looking for a specific kind of guy, and overlook the good ones!
Edit:
You need to increase your odds, not a lot of Black Dudes in Lansing, Michigan!
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Sorry to hear that…But hey, not all AA and island guys are like that!
Take a look at a mixed Jamaican who’s not!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgcvBNA1Fb0TX8KlQMJCjYjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080325221425AA061G4
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stop dating for a while and i am sure you will be out of your confusion.good luck.
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I wish I had and answer for you but this whole society has changed. People don’t raise their children up like they use to and so you have people running around with little or no values inside.
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I feel the same way about Mexican men, I myself am Mexican and my previous relationships with men with similar cultural backround as me, were horrible (If I don’t put out, I am frigid and if I do put out, then I am a whore).
Again, my dad and brother are very different and treat women with respect.
Finally, I met some white guy ( I wasnt even looking for a relationship, if anything I didn’t want one, having come out of a long relationship literally like 2 weeks earlier), we’ve been together for 10 years and married for 5. From the moment I met him, it was completely different, the friendship, sex, everything 110% different.
At first, my family and friends were a little critical about our relationship, and I also got a lot of crap, and accused of being anti-Mexican, which cannot be further from the truth. I am extremely proud of my backround. Now we have 2 beautiful kids, and we are trully happy. My family and friends see that now and it’s not even an issue anymore
I guess, at some point, we have to think outside the box, and just go out there, meet people, and be with whomever makes you happy, no matter where they are from or what they look like,.
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I have nothing against mexican guys, I’m sure there are great guys out there, my best friends happen to be mexican men, but even they treat their girlfriends and wives like crap
Yup, there are great African American guys out there. Make sure to get to know someone for a while (as a friend) before jumping into anything serious (e.g. a relationship) in order to make sure that the guy will treat you well.
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you go to msu huh? well theres ya problem. get out of michigan. its a pit. hit the east coast and you should be fine
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You are not alone in this. There was a time when African Americans, esp. AA men, were very motivated and driven to get a good education, find a good soul mate and build a great family. But unfortunately, these days, that is not mostly the case. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t any great AA men out there. There are many of them, but it is just bothersome that there are some who don’t even CARE anymore.
Have you ever considered that maybe the ONE that you are supposed to be with is not even AA. I know that you are very proud, as you should be, of your heritage, and that you’d like to find men who share the same proud heritage and background. But sometimes we just have to get out there and find that someone who is right for us, REGARDLESS OF THEIR COLOR OR CREED. I guess what I am trying to say is that find the love of your life and then their background and race will no longer be an issue if the two of you TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER.
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ME, OF COURSE.
The colour white has been glamorized to a point of no return. I accept it is a problem, worldwide problem. Men all around are more attracted to the fairer skin. Women have also not helped by succumbing to the pressure here in India women’s magazine are flooded with advertisement of creams that make skin fairer. Even AA stars especially women have surprisingly become fairer over a decade this confirms your apprehension and attitude of AA men.
Earlier love and friendship was more of a relationship between two hearts and minds today it has become more physical.
But there are always exceptions. All the Best.
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